Every year, before the true contenders are selected, the judges must weed out the pretenders. But is the early-round audition process of American Idol worth watching on television? Our panelists each take a side in this Face-Off.
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YES by McPheend
To answer this question, one needs to consider these inherent facts about the ratings behemoth and cultural phenomenon that is American Idol:
- Holding open tryouts is the only way to discover actual talent such as Clay Aiken, Taylor Hicks and Kelly Clarkson - tremendous individuals, but not the type who jumped out as stars upon first impressions.
- The auditions that some now say detract from the show are the very thing that sparked its popularity back in the series' first season.
- Idol is, above all else, entertainment. The end result is America choosing its next singing sensation, sure - but raw talent isn't the singular focal point. The producers want to unearth the contestants with vocal chops, but also those with unique personalities, a great story, or some comedic value.
Ideally, someone would offer all of the above, but mostly, at least in the early going, any of the above will do. What we're after is great TV. If we wanted only the best music, we'd download the songs of artists we already know and love. American Idol is as much comedy and unscripted drama as it is music. The result is an incomparable phenomenon.
The point is twofold: Not only would the show be incomplete without these early rounds, but it's what people want to see. Otherwise, it would have been nixed from the get-go. We shudder at the thought of William Hung (right) up there doing his best Ricky Martin. We feel bad for the young men and women who bear the brunt of Simon Cowell's scathing rants.
But we can't divert our eyes.
If there's one thing us Americans love, it's an against-all-odds, rags to riches story. If there's another thing we love, it's some no-talent hack getting berated for even trying.
Come on. Train wrecks make for great drama in this country, especially in show business. There's a reason Britney Spears generates more news now than when she churned out 10 million-sellers.
Of course it's tedious at times. But for American Idol to live up to its name, it has to give everyone a shot, and be truly representative of the population. Like life, you take the good with the bad. For every Carrie Underwood who knocks our socks off, there's a dude in Statue of Liberty garb who Simon tells to get out before he even opened his mouth.
Don't fight it, people. Just do what I do and cringe in embarrassment, scream at the TV, and enjoy a hearty laugh - at them, not with them, of course.
You don't need to dedicate two hours of your life to American Idol in order to see bad singing. Give me a warm meal and I'll butcher songs from any genre in your living room tomorrow. Call me a "dawg" and - presto! - it's your own version of these early audition shows.
It's understandable why watching untalented vocalists miss note after note might be funny the first time. Maybe the second time. William Hung was certainly good for a laugh. But don't you just feel bad for them by now, the sixth season and 1,762nd hour of this nonsense?
After all, bad singers fall into one of two categories: Those who know they suck, but think attempts at humor such as juggling or dressing like Uncle Sam are still entertaining; and those who actually think they have a good voice. The former are wrong. The latter are just sad.
Especially this season.
The judges have grown meaner than ever. Simon Cowell told one guy he looked "like one of those creatures that live in the woods with those massive eyes." He crushed the hopes of another earnest contestant by saying he "sings like a one-year old." Since when is watching the dreams of eager innocents crushed by pompous millionaires a healthy form of entertainment?
I know, I know, these people are aware of what they're getting into. They ask for the criticism. They've seen Simon stomp all over the egos of one off-key crooner after another. It's like they're asking us to laugh at their misfortune. But is that really the case?
We're not always the best judges of ourselves. If enough loved ones tell us how special we are, if our well-meaning parents push us to pursue our dreams, it's not difficult to believe a plethora of participants actually think they can make it. They just need to catch a break. And this is their chance!
Even if they actually sound more like Brooke Hogan than Kelly Clarkson.
In the end, the American Dream tells us that people can accomplish anything if they work for it. But the initial stages of American Idol shoot down that fantasy. A majority of the time is spent extinguishing the aspirations of individuals that just yearn for their chance to shine.
Count me out as someone who wants to see those smiles turned into frowns.
